My Invisible Flowers in an Invisible Vase

What is the impact of my father's departure?

Every year, I dream that my father will send me flowers because he loves me. Every year, I receive my invisible flowers in an invisible vase. They are a bittersweet reminder that my father chose to leave his four daughters. He left us physically, financially and emotionally. The crater left on me and all of my family would swallow up the moon and still have room to spare.
My Dad was my dream man! He was smart, funny, handsome, and an adventurer. My love of animals, travel, inventing things and creating ideas all began with my Dad. He set the standard for all men in my life. And with his departure, the standard was burned in my heart.

I have never recovered completely from my Dad leaving and I never will. My choices in men have lead to the eventual departure of each of them in one way or another.

I call my story, Trifeca. Three of the most important men in my life have left me. All three are now dead. My High School boyfriend died in a car accident in 1985, my Dad died in 1992 and my husband died six months later in 1993. How could they?

My dad was my hero and when he left me at the age of 13, I tried to be tough, became ultimately shy and withdrawn, and then over compensated by being gregarious, funny, smart, and available to 'dangerous' boys.

My first true love was a gorgeous person, smoky, mysterious, loving, kind and then he died. He chose to drink and ride with another boy who was also drinking and driving. He left me when I was 17 years old.

My Dad, long ago moved away from us, developed COPD in his fifties. We had only begun what I decided was our journey back to love. He was quickly dying and after Hurricane Andrew hit Florida, he left his home in the Florida Keys to come back to North Florida. 30 days later he died. He left me permanently when I was just 26 years old.

My husband, the light of my life, the sun and the moon, my world, promised me that he would stand by me forever. We eloped on a Wednesday at lunch and lived as freely as two dolphins at sea. Six months after my Dad died, he died in an accident. He left me forever when I was 26 years old.

So each year, I wait for those flowers to come, and they come as clear as the air. The impact of these three flowers as painful each time they arrive; or not.

HeartDaddy- the Answer in 2009

The Sky knows no limits.

As HeartMommy gets a bit of exposure, I am asked on a regular basis about the idea of HeartDaddy. And here is the answer...

In May of 2008 my son came to me and said, we must have "HeartDaddy" too for all the Dads in the world. Of course, we must, I agreed.

On that day Garrett and I sat down for our first business meeting. Across our makeshift desk we shared; Garrett exlpained the finer points of his idea, business plan, and drew the HeartDaddy logo for me. It is lovely indeed.

After the meeting ajorned I purchased the domain name- www.heartdaddy.com and put all the important documentation in the newly labeled file for HeartDaddy.

Isn't fun to know that my son loves HeartMommy handing out my business cards more than I do, and that he has the smarts to come up with the idea, the branding, and all the details for HeartDaddy too.

My ideas are small in comparison to his imagination and fearlessness. Garrett knows only what is possible.

And with that, I give you, HeartDaddy. Created in May 2008 by Garrett Cushman for all the Dads of the world.

All the great ideas I get from Garrett, friends, family, customers, Dads and Moms are noted, reviewed, and are 'in development' for the next phase of business.

With HeartMommy just out of the incubator, HeartDaddy is being carefully cared for as we grow.

In 2009 we are expecting amazing growth and expansion of HeartMommy and the launch of HeartDaddy!

Please send me any and all thoughts, ideas, wishlist items and I will add them to the executive meeting agenda for next week. Garrett and I hold our meetings at our now makeshift desk in the kitchen, where most great ideas and stories are shared.

I am sending an email to my web designer to add a new link on HeartMommy.

Look often and spread the word about HeartMommy and HeartDaddy so we will continue to grow as 2009 becomes our banner year!

Thank you to all the amazing people who have and continue to support us.
We are the Little Engine That Could and Will!

Nancy
HeartMommy on behalf of HeartDaddy 2009