B.G. and A.G. - December 26th

Becoming a Mom, Mother, Mommy and HeartMommy is something I nearly removed from my 'calling card story'. On December 26th, 2002 my beautiful, beautiful son, Garrett, was born. He was on his way on Christmas day, but the best gifts are those we wait for, sometimes for years.

His Mom, 1st Mom, Birthmom and TummyMommy, gave birth and after 4 days in the hospital, she handed me my son. So many emotions! Joy, Excitement, Fear, Saddness, WOAH!, and all the things new parents experience, plus the knowledge that we would be leaving with our son. She and his birthfather, both amazing and uber-smart college freshmen, would be leaving to go back to 'life' and move on...

B.G- Before Garrett-consisted of me, us, dogs, WORK, traveling, working 80+ hours a week to earn more to have more. B.G. also included the Infertility Experiments endured to create something that God had already planned.

A.G.- After Garrett- mind-blowing, heart bursting LOVE. Intense, no more experiments, more dogs, a lot more family and saddness too.

Saddness; how does a woman, who loves her unborn child, make the excruciating decision to surrender her child into the arms, home and heart of another mother? Profound Strength of courage, mindfulness, love and extreme understanding.

As this Christmas season is upon us, I always return to December 25th when I got the call, and the moment I saw him for the first time. Garrett, his own unique person from the start. His birthparents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, great grandparents, are all a part of his life; still today. For this I am eternally grateful. My saddness has turned to compassion for all who make this incredible decision and allow 'Us' to become parents.

B.G.- Before Grace

A.G- Attained Gratefulness

My little-big man, is all the best of Kim and Steve! He is all the best of me and his Dad, too.

His life is complex, interesting and he is the Heart of it; he knows nothing else.

When I recently asked him, "How does it feel to be adopted?"

He answered, "It feels like nothing, normal, I am Garrett."

Simple. He is GARRETT!

A.G.- Absolutely Genius

On Being a Mom and All That It Implies

Being a Mom. Being a Mom. Being a Parent.

When we are chosen or chose to become a mother, it changes life is ways that are never known until we are experiencing them. It is like riding a roller coaster for the first time. We know it will be scary, exhilarating, intense, perhaps painful, rough, bumpy, up and down. We know it in our brain but the actual experience is something quite different. Being a Mom, it changes who we are to our core. Never again do we exist only for ourselves, there is always and will always be someone who depends on us. We are a we and not a me. We are teachers, guidance counselors, healers, comforters, disciplinarians, protectors, and promoters.
We must choose to be the Dreamweaver and not the Dreamsquasher.
We must choose to put ourselves first but at a very small margin, which often turns to second or third. We must learn to hold on and let go. We must have love that rejuvenates everyday and grows in ample supply to store for a rainy day.

A true balancing act that requires grace, patience, energy and true love.
Being a Mom and all that it implies...
And in this time, being a Mom does not exclusively mean being a woman.

The definition of a parent: One who begets, gives birth to, or nurtures and raises a child; a father or mother.
And as a Mom, I am in awe of other parents. How do they do what they do? How do they accomplish all the things they do in one day? How do they keep their schedules, their friends, their relationships, there lives, themselves? It is a miracle that continues to astound me.

Before being a Mom, I was me. A career woman, traveling five days a week to climb the corporate ladder, to earn more money, to have more things, to be bigger, better, and prove to myself and others that I was just as driven, focused, ambitious, just as any other who was on my path.
After becoming a Mom, I was a we. Still a career woman, not traveling, climbing slower, earning less, taking less to give more, and yet, being bigger, better, proving to myself and others that I was just as driven, focused, and ambitious, as before, just on a different path.
The balancing act of being and seeing what is and all that it implies; being a parent.

Part Two of this post, 3/17/2009.

When I wrote this post last Friday, I was set on the idea of it being about Moms, but knowing that there are a lot of fantastic Dads out there doing it all too. Even in the best of relationships and marriages, there are often certain things one or the other parent is good at and they take on the majority of that responsibility. And as I wrote, it turned into another thought process, the idea of being a single Mom or Dad and how even the slightest change in our lives creates an even bigger change in the lives of our child. A small ripple, spreading and growing, energy that changes everything for them. The choices we make, the focus we have, the intensity in which we have decided to dedicate to keeping those ripples small, for their sake.

I am the first to admit, I am no perfect parent or person. My life has had many changes that have created ripples so huge that there is no way to know if they are rolling into a Tsunami that will come crashing at some later date. I hope not. I pray everyday for the strength and knowledge to get it now, so it makes life more fun for my son later.

I want to be his Dreamweaver! I want to be an inspiration to him. I want him to be a great man; loving, kind, generous and always exploring; and all that this implies.

HeartDaddy- the Answer in 2009

The Sky knows no limits.

As HeartMommy gets a bit of exposure, I am asked on a regular basis about the idea of HeartDaddy. And here is the answer...

In May of 2008 my son came to me and said, we must have "HeartDaddy" too for all the Dads in the world. Of course, we must, I agreed.

On that day Garrett and I sat down for our first business meeting. Across our makeshift desk we shared; Garrett exlpained the finer points of his idea, business plan, and drew the HeartDaddy logo for me. It is lovely indeed.

After the meeting ajorned I purchased the domain name- www.heartdaddy.com and put all the important documentation in the newly labeled file for HeartDaddy.

Isn't fun to know that my son loves HeartMommy handing out my business cards more than I do, and that he has the smarts to come up with the idea, the branding, and all the details for HeartDaddy too.

My ideas are small in comparison to his imagination and fearlessness. Garrett knows only what is possible.

And with that, I give you, HeartDaddy. Created in May 2008 by Garrett Cushman for all the Dads of the world.

All the great ideas I get from Garrett, friends, family, customers, Dads and Moms are noted, reviewed, and are 'in development' for the next phase of business.

With HeartMommy just out of the incubator, HeartDaddy is being carefully cared for as we grow.

In 2009 we are expecting amazing growth and expansion of HeartMommy and the launch of HeartDaddy!

Please send me any and all thoughts, ideas, wishlist items and I will add them to the executive meeting agenda for next week. Garrett and I hold our meetings at our now makeshift desk in the kitchen, where most great ideas and stories are shared.

I am sending an email to my web designer to add a new link on HeartMommy.

Look often and spread the word about HeartMommy and HeartDaddy so we will continue to grow as 2009 becomes our banner year!

Thank you to all the amazing people who have and continue to support us.
We are the Little Engine That Could and Will!

Nancy
HeartMommy on behalf of HeartDaddy 2009

Isn't It Funny

Isn't It Funny?

Today, as I watched my son play dinosaurs in our yard, I thought how much he had changed.

And to see his intense concentration in Kindergarten Chess. Yes, Chess...he really gets it too. The sponge of the child's mind is a delight.

He is taller, his face is more mature, and now he sings songs while playing. Tonight as we chatted before bedtime, he started giggling and could not stop, his little face crinkled up with silliness. And yet, as I look over the website and the photo site with his pictures, there is so little change.

On the far left of the photo site is Garrett so small, days old if that, with a small smile. On the far right is Garrett now. He has the same smile, the same eyes and the same nose.

Tonight, as I browse these familiar photos I think, isn't it funny, no matter what is happening in the world today, what is happening in our lives, things are as they are meant to be.

http://heartmommy.shutterfly.com/

(Top left 2002 and Top right 2008)

In the middle are Kim and Steve at our first meeting after Garrett was born.

Garrett is a beautiful soul. He will always be.



HeartMommy