Spring Is Here! Butterfly...

There are times in our lives when the seasons have some type of magical and spiritual meaning. For me, the past two years have been some of the darkest winters on record. The winter season lasting the entire two years. It seemed like a snowball affect with anything I did, touched, loved, wanted or achieved. Drifting along through my days, getting by, wishing and hoping for better times and yet, I was still hanging out in this cold, blustery place called winter.

This year has been one of renewed love, spirit, happiness, and joy. My spring has arrived and all is possible  for me. I feel a sense of belonging. My community continues to grow. Forgiveness and peace abound.

I have written before about the butterfly during its transformation and how painful and confined it must feel having to be in that place. However, the result of enduring such trauma is wings! Wings that allow this once earth bound creature the ability to float above and see all around.

As I have endured these past two years,  I have felt more uncomfortable in my own skin than ever before. If I could have broken out of it and been somewhere else, I certainly would have made that choice. But for my love of my son, my close and ever faithful friends, my determination and being down right stubborn, these would have been the last straw.

And now, and now, I am ever grateful to my son, my dearest and kindest friends, and new love for having me be a part of a great experience. Thankful to all those who have been a part of the healing process and thankful to those who were not as well. For those who have exited my life, have freed my heart to live and love and grow.

Kindness. Caring. Receiving Love. Rejuvenation. Happiness. Wellness. 

With my feet firmly planted on the ground, this butterfly is floating on the warm wings of Spring!

BOYS. BOYS. BOYS!

On Saturday we had the pleasure of being at the best.birthday party. ever.! G and S were invited to attended a party at the NC Arboretum. The day was cold and damp outside, but the festivities were warm, lively and full of BOYS!
After holding a rat and snake and learning survival skills, we all headed into the woods to learn how to build a shelter out of sticks, bark, leaves and whatever else happens to be be near.
Soon the cold, damp feeling gave way to the excitement of the challenge to 'build it'! There were also several girls there. They ROCKED the shelter building and made quite a team!
Everyone soon got involved; it was contagious!

N, J, S and G are seen here in the amazing shelter built by S and his Dad, Tom.

Chazz, our Educator, was super cool and the boys loved that he be breaking branches and giving tips on how to make the most efficient shelter! Great work!

Thank you to our friends and extended family for coming to the party. I love Kelly, Julie, Jeff, Nina, and Tom for all getting into the action. G and I are forever grateful to have such amazing connections and loving people in our lives.

BOYS ROCK!


*photo courtesy of Kelly

The 11th Hour!

As the sun sets, I am reminded that all things come to pass. They may not come when or how we envision them. They may seem like mountains that are too tall to climb or oceans to vast to swim. And, in some cases they are indeed out of our control, not to be redeemed or corrected. But, in some rare instances, the world hands us a very thorny bloom. When handled carefully, it provides the sweetest scent. 

Today was an 11th hour day. Best described as gut-wrenching, gnarly, traumatic and truthful. A day that reminded me of a dark period in my childhood, when I realized that people can be mean and do make assumptions about each other with very little truth. Discrimination at its finest. The haves and the have nots. The feeling of being judged by being the customer. The feeling of being small and rather disposable. 

I am grateful.

Today was an 11th hour day. It provided a very sweet scent from a loved one. The truth about their personality. The truth about their constitution, regardless of the situation. Their nervous, happy, sad, concerned. loving, open and honest self. The warm ocean waters that envelope me and make all old wounds seem to disappear. The knowing that even in my small, little child mind and child hurts, they are 'steady as she goes.'

 I am grateful. 

Today was an 11th hour day. When all seemed dark and without solace, a dear friend, nudged me to stay the course, do not give in, do not give up. Get into the SUN, she urged me. Remember where you were and where you are now. Look hopefully and happily into the future. Take these challenges as a sign that I am strong and worth it. Friends are those people that really get into your pile with you and hold you up. Held up to the truth, in whatever form it may come. Whether pretty or not, that friend loves you. 

I am grateful.

Today was an 11th hour day. It brought certain resolution to two good things. Decisions made, thoughts made real, dreams secured and that 12th hour is now an easy one. This 12th hour is meant to relish in the new beginnings. It is meant to bring soft comfort and freedom. 

Thank you my oppressor. Thank you my love. Thank you my friend. 

This 12th hour is "Resplendent like the noon day sun." 

It is warm, comforting, soothing, easy, refreshing, renewing, and carries me. 

I am warmed. 

The Re-Entry Process...slowly...

Touching the Sun!

Re-Entry... my dear friend and fellow Florida native, Darlene, recently said upon her return from Florida. She was going through the 'Re-Entry' process to North Carolina and the mountains. 
I, still being in Florida, could understand how she was feeling. But, when I returned, the re-entry feeling was palpable. 
We talked about this strange, happy, sad, interesting experience of knowing the love of the beach and the water. Sitting and watching into forever, while the warm water laps on our feet. The immense and warming sun, wrapping around like a blanket, to sooth away the day and melt into a warm evening. 
In sharp contrast to the majestic mountains that surround us in Asheville, NC. Bold, beautiful, endless and all encompassing. The mountains have a way of wrapping around us like a cool summer breeze, bringing shades of deep green and blue into our eyes and soul. Our feet dipped in icy mountain waters that come for miles to meet us at the rivers edge. 
And yet, the re-entry, to either spectrum can be overpowering. One extreme to another in less than a day by car. Another world. 
How do I love thee...both my beloved Florida and my adopted home in North Carolina...
And so, I am in the re-entry phase of the mountains, wishing for warm salty ocean water, the sun in my face, that brilliant and blazing sunset and the look into forever. 
And so, today, I will walk among the tall soft grass of the mountains, dip my feet into the cool waters and embrace my mountain home. 
Home, two sides of one coin. Home, where there is safety and love and growth and quiet too. 

Touching the Earth...

Healing, HeartMommy, Kaleidoscope- All things in Three

HeartMommy.com

As I write my first Blog post in many months,

I am excited to explain my absence

and all the new beginnings!

1. A life long dream of becoming a clinical massage therapist is coming true. I graduate in June 2012 and will be focusing on Mom and Baby massage, prenatal, post natal and infant massage.

2. Kaleidoscope Community Center will be opening in Hendersonville in May or June of 2012. This center will focus on creating community for our area. We will also offer educational classes, book readings, health, wellness and massage.

3. HeartMommy is now part of the AB Tech Business Incubator in Asheville, NC. An incubator keeps something safe and allows it time to grow and mature. Much like a baby incubator, a business incubator gives the vital nutrients, care and attention for a business to take it to a new level. We are OVERJOYED at this opportunity.

All things come in three! At least this is true for me and these are the three biggest things going. We are so fortunate to have amazing people and things coming into place to allow all of these things to work in unison. We want to help people, heal people and have fun too!

My son named the community center. Please say a pray, make a wish, send out good vibrations, send loving intentions, so that the location is procured and that all the necessary protocol is done with ease. Our community needs a center and thus will create more community for so many different people.

And away we go.....

Peaceful Flight Into the Unknown

After attending a wonderful weekend in the Florida Keys for my sister's wedding, I was offered the opportunity to fly on a private plane to Tampa, Florida. My plan had been to rent a car, drive about 6 hours to Naples, Florida to visit a dear friend and then drive back to New Smyrna Beach for my original flight home to Asheville. When my sister called and said that the private flight, with a colleague, was available I jumped at the chance to go! Upon arrival at the airport in Key West, I asked to fly co-pilot. This was so thrilling, being in the front of the plane, wearing the headset, helping with the pre-flight check and flying the plane for a bit. Jerry, the pilot and owner of the plane was wonderful. He explained things as we went along, let me bank the plane, showed me how to fly using the instruments and we seemingly floated above the turquiose waters of the Florida Keys.

About 10 minutes into the flight one of the other three passengers tapped Jerry on the shoulder and was pointing. It quickly became evident that there was something seriously wrong. An oil leak had erupted through the right engine, near the propeller and oil was flying off the wing and back into the air. Jerry quickly called the Miami Tower and declared an emergency. Having the headset on allowed me to hear everything that was being conveyed. It was incredible!

One minute floating gracefully through the air and the next in an emergency, looking for clearance at the nearest airport. We were completely over the water, no land in sight. Jerry handed me the emergency procedure booklet and had me answer 'check' to all his instructions. He explained that the engine would freeze up if we did not 'flutter' it down-turn it off completely. We would be flying on one engine and one propeller. I carefully followed his instructions, watched as the oil gauge went to zero, the lights for the engine were shut down and stared at the now silent and still right propeller. *The photo is of the plane, after the propeller is turned off, while we were in flight. I was on the right side... see the amazing water and sky beyond. WOW!

What was my reaction? What were my thoughts? Was I afraid? I was as peaceful as I have ever been. I was not afraid. My thoughts turned to the idea that this is what life is about. We are not in control. We are not in a safety net with infinite time. The risks we take, the decisions we make and our actions are all something that we have a choice about, but in the end, we are truly at the mercy of God. My life did not pass before me as if I were watching some movie, but the thoughts of what, where, when and how I had lived my life did. My son Garrett was of course my first thought. If this plane went down into the waters surrounding Florida, would he be proud to have had me as his Mom? Yes, he would. That is all that mattered.

I was joyful in knowing that I had come to Florida to be a part of a wonderful weekend, spent time with family and friends, was back home-Florida and now over the water where I grew up. If it was my time, there would be no better place than to head to heaven here. I began taking photos. Just my eyes vision of what I was feeling. Light, peaceful, rested, safe, and grateful for all I had in life. My son, family, friends, and nothing short of an adventurous life...

As seredipidity seems to play a significant part in my life, the nearest airport was Naples, Florida. The city where I wanted to be and was planning on driving to all along. Amazing how these things work out. I told Jerry, it was my lucky day!

We had about 15 minutes of flying left on the one engine, all the while talking with Miami, Ft. Lauderdale, and the Naples airport towers on clearing the area and the runway. We flew at a 35 degree pitch to keep the right wing up; avoiding a downdraft. As we approached the Naples airport, the emergency crews were waiting at the end of the runway and we landed on one wheel, slowly leveled out and taxied into the airport. Perfect execution! The tower called to the plane and asked if we could taxi to the hanger. The answer from Jerry- "No, Go!" and just like that there was a flurry of emergency vehicles, ambulance, people and we were surrounded.

As the consumate photographer, I began snapping photos of all the activity, called my friend to explain I had arrived early and she picked me up at the Naples airport. It was so surreal and yet so peaceful. I feel blessed to have had the experience.

Life is an amazing series of chances, choices and experiences, all bundled together to create our existence. Life IS good!

The Truth

This past weekend, I attended the USMC Birthday Celebration Ball.
My brother-in-law, Maj. Darrel R. Robinson and my sister Barbara hosted me and a friend Kate for a weekend never to be forgotten.

The Ball is a full-blown event honoring the Marine Corp. all Marines, their Navy Medic Corp. and America. Pagentry, historic depictions of the USMC, honoring the fallen, welcoming the youngest Marine and saluting the oldest Marine.

For me, it was a night of goose bumps, chills, tears, laughter, and thanking as many Marines and Navy Medics for their bravery, honor and commitment to America.

Some had just returned from a tour of duty others were on their way to their first, second or third tours. We met one Marine, paralyzed from the chest down by sniper fire. He was no more than 30 years old. We met several Navy Medics, one who told a story of trying to save a life amidst sniper fire, only to lose him three days later from his injuries. Both received medals for their bravery and yet neither of them wanted to accept that they were deserving of any special treatment. They were only doing their job as a Marine or Navy Medic.

At some point in the evening, late into dancing, and well into the sleepy morning hours, we started talking. Real, truth talk.
One Navy Medic asked me, "Do you want to know the truth?".
Yes, I did.
He told me his truth, I told him mine, as a group we all shared ours, and we all experienced an unforgetable moment together; five strangers at the beginning of the evening, friends at the end.

The Truth- My way...

"I would rather have thirty minutes of wonderful than a lifetime of nothing special." -Steel Magnolias

• You may learn more from strangers in one night than you will from friends and family in your entire relationship.
• You may know someone for an instant and they can be gone in the next. Peace or War, no matter.
• Soft quiet, even silence, speaks volumes.
• We all face bravery in our lives; but some face bravery for ours, theirs and strangers lives.
• Actions are the real indicator of purpose.
• Words are sounds; not truth until acted upon.
• Chance encounters will change your life, your perspective, your inner core.
• Goodness is all around us.
• Fear is not real; only when we believe we cannot overcome.
• Fear can take your thirty minutes of something wonderful; never to be relived.
• Youth nor age make you wiser, smarter or better; you do.
• Reach out, smile, take action, overcome fear, make friends with strangers.
• Listen.
• Listen.
• Listen.
• Love your service men and women; even if you hate war.
• Never give up the truth. Never stop living.
• Do not live a lifetime of nothing special.
• Have thirty minutes of wonderful! Do it everyday...
• God Bless America!

Darrel and Barbara are the consumate hosts. We were treated like VIP and it was fun. My friend Kate stopped people in their tracks with her beauty, inner and outer. My gown was fabulous and I felt that way too. Kate and I were like Cinderellas at the Ball; yes there can be two Cinderellas. Midnight did not end the fantasy experience, it only got better; more fun.

5:00 am is late or early depending...we slept late; the Marines and Navy Medic Corp. reported for duty at 0800; ready to run and drill and learn how to protect us more, better, longer, and for always. None of us were in a hurry to say goodnight. We may never see any of the group again, by chance, by life, by war; but we are friends.

Sunday came too fast, we packed up and headed out. Darrel let me ride on the back of his Harley for half the trip to their house and Kate the other half. Now, that is 30 minutes of something special...pure joy, freedom, loud and silent together.

The Truth. It is just that...