HeartMommy Pendant

HeartMommy Glass and Diamonds
Originally uploaded by HeartMommy

The HeartMommy Pendant is a silver piece, with red glass/resin and a stone in the belly-button.

Any color glass is available and any stone can be put in the belly-button for the perfect unique piece.

Having my son on December 26th, 2002 with his birthmother was the most magical of days. This design is taken from a sticky note doodle I carried for nearly four years before it was made into one piece of jewelry for Kim.

This is the second design and is one that I love so much.

Kim is my angel and Garrett is my love. He makes the world a better place by being here. I adore him completely.

My Invisible Flowers in an Invisible Vase

What is the impact of my father's departure?

Every year, I dream that my father will send me flowers because he loves me. Every year, I receive my invisible flowers in an invisible vase. They are a bittersweet reminder that my father chose to leave his four daughters. He left us physically, financially and emotionally. The crater left on me and all of my family would swallow up the moon and still have room to spare.
My Dad was my dream man! He was smart, funny, handsome, and an adventurer. My love of animals, travel, inventing things and creating ideas all began with my Dad. He set the standard for all men in my life. And with his departure, the standard was burned in my heart.

I have never recovered completely from my Dad leaving and I never will. My choices in men have lead to the eventual departure of each of them in one way or another.

I call my story, Trifeca. Three of the most important men in my life have left me. All three are now dead. My High School boyfriend died in a car accident in 1985, my Dad died in 1992 and my husband died six months later in 1993. How could they?

My dad was my hero and when he left me at the age of 13, I tried to be tough, became ultimately shy and withdrawn, and then over compensated by being gregarious, funny, smart, and available to 'dangerous' boys.

My first true love was a gorgeous person, smoky, mysterious, loving, kind and then he died. He chose to drink and ride with another boy who was also drinking and driving. He left me when I was 17 years old.

My Dad, long ago moved away from us, developed COPD in his fifties. We had only begun what I decided was our journey back to love. He was quickly dying and after Hurricane Andrew hit Florida, he left his home in the Florida Keys to come back to North Florida. 30 days later he died. He left me permanently when I was just 26 years old.

My husband, the light of my life, the sun and the moon, my world, promised me that he would stand by me forever. We eloped on a Wednesday at lunch and lived as freely as two dolphins at sea. Six months after my Dad died, he died in an accident. He left me forever when I was 26 years old.

So each year, I wait for those flowers to come, and they come as clear as the air. The impact of these three flowers as painful each time they arrive; or not.

We are an official word- TummyMommy

So, as strange as life would have it. I sent in three words for consideration as part of the english language; HeartMommy, HeartDaddy and TummyMommy.

Well, it is true, TummyMommy, was indeed chosen as an official word!

Can you stand it!?!

My whole life I have been an inventor of sorts. An artist, writer, photographer, designer, Mom and now the official originator of the word, TummyMommy.

Now, mind you, it is not me who came up with the word or its meaning. So, for us- Kim and her Mom and me and all the TummyMommys in the world, CHEERS!

I am so excited! A word, in the english language...and so it goes...

aha moment: heartmommy-a heart of love!

Recently, I was asked to share my "Aha" moment about HeartMommy. Below is a link to the story.

aha moment: heartmommy-a heart of love!

I am so grateful to have the opportunity to share the story and how HeartMommy is really about the gift of love!

Nancy
HeartMommy

A boy A Dog and A Stick

On the 4th of July, we had the privilege of going hiking with Lyca. She is the newest family member of a dear friend. Lyca is no ordinary dog, she is a human in dog gear. She poses, acts and responds like a dog only to appease those of us who need that extra special DOG love in our lives.
G and Me have always had a dog in our lives. There was Wiley, Buddy, Mattie, Penny and Chloe. All whom have gone to DOG heaven except for Chloe.
In my opinion, every child should have a dog, or a pet to love. In return, they learn to care for something outside of themselves, get unconditional love from their dog, and learn that there is pure joy in the simple things in life.
A very important first walk on the lease, to a magical waterfall, with a hiking stick, down a country road...it puts a little purpose in the step. Proud and intensely focused on making way to enjoy this moment of boyhood.
With my keen mother's eye and my loverly lens, I caught this moment in time. I smile. G and Lyca, alone, with each other to adventures yet found.
What a wondrous and wonder-filled day. Independence, freedom and all that it implies.

A day and thankfulness for it too

Today, or rather yesterday, was one of the strangest days to date.
My son 'graduated' from the 1st grade today. He is 7 years old and growing so tall, so fast, that my mind spins with how fast time rolls on.
The day started out with a super-grumpy boy, who after winning two awards for his Leadership, was beaming with pride and a new smiley happy face. Transformed.
On this day, I spent the better part of it with his Dad. We are no longer married and have had a long and winding road to some semblance of Peace. Transformed.
I was so happy to have a peaceful, joyful day. I am so happy to have had the day to embrace this feeling of what I would consider nearly normal. Just a day. Just quiet in the mind and endless possibilities ahead.

My late night writing prompted by my fellow blogger, HeartMommy, and friend, SuperMom.

Normally, my writing comes from a place of ankst, energy that is directed in too many places, at too many things. So, as I sit here and write in the quiet of the early morning hours, I am thankful.

Just that; I am thankful.

Have a Wonder-Filled Day. Today and tomorrow and the next one too.
Or, just have a day. Each one a gift.

-HM

Buddha Belly Flotation Device

Could there be anything more adorable than to look at photos of your now 7 yr old son and remember him when he was this little, squishy, drooling, Buddha belly baby; I think not.
When G came to us through adoption in December of 2002, I was still mourning the loss of my baby. This little baby did not live to be born. He or She was due in late March, 2003, but could not come to me and I was so very, very sad. I lost the baby in July of 2002 and was devastated. It was me, the host, that failed the baby. I thought, I had hurt the baby because my body was not able to bring them full-term. I cried a lot. My family cried a lot. My Mom, especially because she knew how much effort it took to even become pregnant, only to lose the baby. I kept my first maternity shirt, still with tags, on the hanger until November, 2006. It was then that I had a complete hysterectomy and I truly surrendered the notion that I would be able to have a brother or sister for G. through a normal pregnancy.

Could I imagine not being G's Mom; not on your life! This precious little boy, brought to me by the grace of his mother, Kim. There are no words of joy that can fill this page adequately to explain my love of G and Kim and Steve and being a Mom. My sweetest baby G; so grown up now. All of 7 yrs old and time has flown by...it is true. Time warp happens when you have someone else to take care of and your focus shifts to them.

My saddnes for my lost child has never ended. It does not fill my mind with thoughts of what could have been. It was this angel baby that went and picked Kim to carry G in her tummy. It was this angel baby who whispered in Kim's ear at nearly 8 months into her pregnancy and gave her the strength to place G with me to be his HeartMommy.

I adore my son! He was the cutest baby and is the most handsome boy!

As Mother's Day fast approaches, thank your HeartMommy for all her love. I will thank my Mom/HeartMommy. I will thank my little angel baby for the whisper in Kim's ear and heart. I will thank Kim for listening and bringing me such joy through G.

Garrett's First Love- Marlene

Love your Downtown Merchant
Originally uploaded by HeartMommy

Garrett fell in love with Marlene on our first visit to Jewels That Dance. We made a weekly pilgrimige to see Marlene.

This photo was snapped as we left the store and Marlene came out to say goodbye to G.

It was one of the sweetest moments of my life. To see such love...

Mattie and GMan

Mattie and GMan
Originally uploaded by HeartMommy

This was our last hike with Mattie. We has Wiley, Mattie, Buddy and Chloe...

Garrett loves dogs. Me too.

We had a visiting dog over last night and she was so adorable. Poppy was her name and she was sweet and loving.

Soon, we will be dog parents again.

God Bless Wiley and Mattie and Buddy.

I have gotten dog sentimental....

gman takes the camera

gman takes the camera
Originally uploaded by HeartMommy

He is his own man!
Love does not even begin to capture my heart for him.
He is...

Chloe and RocketMan

Chloe and RocketMan
Originally uploaded by HeartMommy

Going through old photos brought me to this one of G and Chloe. We miss her. She was such a great little lady.
G and I are sad that she had to go, but happy that she is wih Haley.

We love you Chloe.

HeartMommy Scarf on National Magazine

WOW!

HeartMommy has made a national magazine with a pull-though scarf we offer.

These silk and wool scarves are made for the HeartMommy collection.

Please visit us on facebook- Nancy McCullough- to see the complete collection.

We have hardly had a chance to advertise and by word of mouth, the scarves are being scooped up.

Contact me at nancy@heartmommy.com to place your order today.

Great Mother's Day gift! Get one for yourself and give a friend one; they will love you for their forever scarf. Available for children, adults, women, men, and unisex.

Once you put one on, you will never want to take it off! Just like a pair of comfy socks, your scarf will keep you warm and cozy.

These will be available for purchase at http://www.heartmommy.com/ soon.

HeartMommy is VERY happy!

Girls' Winter Boots | LittleMissMatched

HeartMommy LOVES the number 3, all things in threes and mismatched items; perfectly imbalanced! So, in my insomnia induced websearching for all things Mommy and Mompreneur, I stubled on www.littlemissmatched.com! Nirvana! The answer to all my love of my mismatched things, and more. Get this, they sell socks in sets of 3!

Of course, I found the exact thing I wanted, woolie boots-not matching of course! So, I went to check it out and guess what- it is on clearance and they only have smaller sizes...HeartMommy cries. But, good luck for you!! Go and buy stuff! You will love it, I promise. Girls' Winter Boots LittleMissMatched

P.S. All gifts are graciously accepted from this store. I am now asking for what I want for Christmas; missmatched things. You can even get me 3 stockings!!

Love it! I do not say this lightly. I like things, I like things a lot, but love...it has to be the real deal.

Check it out!

Mom? Am I Really...

After having just returned from a work related trip to Key West, Florida, I am dog tired! My most favorite person, Lil G, is with his Dad this weekend. My sweetie, G and his Mom (me), have not seen each other 7 days. This is a long time. I miss him.

During the trip, I had dinner with several of my tour guests. At some point the conversation turned to children, grandchildren and so on. I explained that my son came to me through adoption. An open adoption as well. The response I received from one of the tour guests was one that made my jaw drop. Being professional, I decided to keep my opinion to myself, for the most part.

This person, decided that my decision to have adopted and that it was indeed an open adoption, was a very poor choice. This person also said that my son would be very confused at knowing he was adopted and that I was not his 'real Mom'.

How sad, it is to know that there are people who truly believe that only by having a biological child, does one become a parent, mother or father. My first instinct was to go into a verbal warfare. However, knowing that people believe what they want and are rarely if ever able to see things in a different way, I decided to state a fact.

I told this person, I was unable to have children, my son was indeed my son, and I was in fact his mother. The person who raised him from the moment he was born and the mother who will love him for the rest of my life. His birthmother is his mother too. She, by the grace of God, had the courage to entrust me to be his HeartMommy. She took her status to a different level by her actions.

Mom, Mommy, MOM!, mom, mom, mom....I am this person. My Valentine is my son, my precious, adorable, wonderful son.

Heaven on Earth

Look at this little boy. Tiny, wearing his NASA uniform, jumping across a HUGE opening in the earth. This was only a little over 2 years ago. Now, my little boy, is ever taller, wears no NASA uniforms anymore, is much more daring in jumpling off or over truly large spaces, is a reader, a speller, understands so much of what is going on in this world and continues to astound me daily. He is my Heaven on Earth!
When confounded by adults who still cannot make the leap or take the chance or ask the questions, I look at my now 7 year old child and know that the world is a better place for having him on it.
He is astouding, beautiful, resilient, peace-loving, and knows that he is here to do something great in the world. He knows that he is a leader, but lets others lead. He knows he has a lot of knowledge, but lets others have their own and soaks it in. He is a peace-maker, where there is no peace. He does not judge, he loves and sees and is just fantastic in my eyes and my heart. I adore him !!
Take a minute to look at your children, really look at them, love them when they are tough, laugh hard when they are silly, go easy when things aren't that important, play. Hug them, smell their hair and know that is such a very short time, they will be taller than you. They will want to spend more time with their friends, they will be a teenager and then off they fly.
They are not our possessions. They were entrusted to us to guide, love, and allow to grow. Fill them with as much love as you can give, expose them to great things and when they come back to see you, they will hug you, smell your hair, remember you as they do now.
Garrett recently asked me this:" Mom, do you consider yourself everything or a small grain of sand on an endless beach?" I replied, "I am a small grain of sand on the endless beach for sure." He then said "Yeah, me too, but all together we make a beautiful array of colors and textures."
And then off he went to school...I was speechless. I love him.

The Universe

As life would have it, once you put something out in the universeby mouth or by writing, it comes true.
My previous post about loathing things and certain behaviors of people I know, has really come full blast at me today. Even from those I love; oddly proving that I am part if not most of the issue.

So, having said that, an attitude adjustment is in order.

New Year, New Decade, New, New, New

Here is the thing.
For whatever reason, this year was something of a blur. It passed so quickly that I can hardly remember many of the events that constituted this moment in time.
Having said that, I am still writing my weekly column in the Biltmore Beacon- Carrie from Sex in the City minus the sex minus smoking minus living in NYC+friends+strange and unusual questions and thoughts on everything. You get the picture. A colunmist in Asheville, NC...interesting and sometimes not.
So, here is this thing.
If a recipe is the base of a great cake or anything, you must have all the ingredients to create and enjoy the end result. As in life, you must have a base with which to start. At what point to you decide what the base is going to be?
Is it family, is it work, is it creative outlets? Friends, I believe are certainly part of the base of most life recipes and I have many; I am grateful.
Truth, not telling the truth, but living the truth. Living a life that expands as it goes. Jumping in feet first, no exit plan, laughing hard, helping others, being someone who does not comsume of the earth, but who enjoys it and shares it with others.
Love, I mean not just loving something, but giving everything for the love of everything. Breaking down the walls we have built up for protection and receiving.
Here is the thing.
As much as I profess to be these things, with my base ingredients, the recipe to make it work and the ability to bring the walls down, I am anything but that.
My tolerance for mean, inept, ungrateful, selfish people has created what I call "Jabathehut". Me, this "all american girl'. Me, the person who loves babies, and the elderly, and animals, is Jaded. Never in my life have I felt loathing for things, people and experiences. I have had my share of these moments, but I have now put myself in a position, by ignoring and ommiting what is happening around me.
I have busied myself with so much. Chasing after something that is, I know not.
As this new year, decade and chapter begin, I will speak my mind, exercise my right as a free person who can and will shed and entire layer or hundreds of layers. Me, the person I dreamt of being.
Here is the thing.
If not now, when? If not when, how? If not how, why?
Reflection is a way of learning and letting experiences help us created and become what we want. So it is now, how and why I am...