And Time Is The Only Constant

Today, I ran across this photo of my now 9 year old son. Being a photographer gives me reason to take thousands of photos and in some cases, I do not really "SEE" them for years.
This photo clearly shows my son at about three years old, gleeful after having a kiss from his favorite person, his Nana. Her bright pink lipstick is a tell tale sign AND his amazing excitement over the most precious moment.
My Mom is now 71 years old and still wears her signature color pink. My son is not having ANY kisses at this point; he is way to old for that he says.
I love his eyes and their sweet, youthful, exuberant joy! He is so happy and I hope that he continues to have this feeling throughout his life. As he gets older, his eyes see things and his ears are filled with things that are not the fairytale life I would wish for him. But, he still sees things with an open and loving heart, amazing wonder and joyful learning.
As his mother, I too see things through his eyes. For this I am eternally grateful.
This year is one of new horizons, growth, release, and reconnecting with my roots.
With childlike wonder, I embark on this new chapter in our lives. My son, clearly at the root of all my decisions, will see some amazing things and have the chance to 're-meet' his family and friends.
My life is truly blessed. Dreams are alive. Truth and love do win.
Cotton Candy, Rainbows and Ponies...beaches, sunsets and dolphins too. I LOVE IT!

Well Built Structures

People say, "things aren't built like they used to be." In fact, this is true. Things, whatever 'things' are; are not built like they once were. Does this make them better or worse?
Because things are built differently, are new, innovative, something that we have not experienced or are experiencing for the first time may, in fact, mean that they are well built structures.
For instance, houses were built by people with cut down trees, placed together with something binding and had a roof for shelter. They were built for a specific reason and were not built 'like they used to be' either.
Today, houses are built by people with machined wood, bound together with mortar, drywall, tile, etc. and have a roof made of shingles and so on. And, they too are not as they used to be, because they serve a different purpose, in a different world.
As life and the world change at a quickening pace, with new people, new experiences and new things, it is our brain that must also change. We must remember the past for what it was, hold on to memories for what they are and really experience the present for what it is.
This thing we have is a well built structure; life as we now know it. Amazing!
I am so happy that things are as they are, my memories are dear, what life has brought to me is well built, my brain is changing and growing, and the present is something spectacular!
Having well built structures, new or otherwise, is a state of mind. It is what we make of them and how we enjoy them. Although there may be a few dents, cracks or other imperfections, these walls are something to be joyful about.
Life is "not what it used to be" and yet, it is just as it was meant to be all along; A Well Built Structure.

Garrett's Birthday

Here we are on December 26th, the day after Christmas. All the presents unwrapped, all the toys played with and strewn about, and all the leftovers.

But for me today is the day I became a mother. December 26th is the day that Garrett arrived on this earth. Late last night he could not sleep knowing that his birthday was coming; just as excited as for Christmas morning. We talked about when I met him while still in Kim's womb and how I got to see his picture from the sonogram, but only his head. We discussed how he became Garrett because of a dream that I had about two days before he was born. The names picked out for the baby were Emily Grace if the baby was a girl and Ethan William is the baby was a boy. But, I had this dream that said his name was Garrett, and he is Garrett through and through. During our conversation, he asked me if I knew what his name meant. I played along and asked him to tell me. "Brave Warrior" he said proudly. It is true.

In the early morning hours of December 26th, I received a call from Kim's mother Wendy. She said come now, the baby is coming. FLYING out of the bed and into the car, racing to the hospital and seeing Kim was surreal. The nurse came in and explained what was happening and that only two people could be in the labor/delivery room. Kim asked me if I would be her birth coach! I nearly fell over with joy, holding back my tears to not break the seal on the welling up. After two hours of intense pushing, I could see the very top of Garrett's head. But, Kim's labor would not progress and Garrett was stuck. The doctor decided it was time for a cesarean and they whisked her away. I was not allowed in the operating room. Then the tears flowed, I cried and cried. Not out of sadness, not out of fear, but just joy and love knowing that she was going through all of this for Garrett. She was so very brave. In the waiting room were Steve, Josh, my Mom, my sister Melissa and me. We talked and waited, sat silently and waited. It was like a 1950s waiting experience. After what seemed like eternity, we walked into the hall and I started pacing. About that time a nurse wheeled a bassinet down the hall as she softly cried. "Oh. no" I said, "Something happened to that baby, the nurse is crying." She kept coming toward us. Then cheerfully she said through her tears, "Do you want to see your baby?" All the blood rushed out of my brain and I stared.

The baby was swaddled in a white blanket and gender neutral hat. "Is it a boy or a girl, I asked?" and the nurse unwrapped the baby and exclaimed, 'It's A Boy!" I could not take my eyes off of his, he opened them wide and looked right at me. My heart exploded! We had only a few seconds of silence with him when the rush of family came to see him. The nurses and the doctor were all crying along with us. Garrett was radiant!

I went into a trance of some sort, just staying plastered to the window as they cleaned, weighed, measured and took his footprints. He just lay there calmly, sucking two fingers.

About an hour later I got to hold for the first time. In a private room. Awestruck, I stared at him. Touched his tiny fingers, smelled his hair. I was a mother and he was my son, Garrett, The brave warrior.

Life had begun as I know it.

Today is Garrett's birthday. The most important day of the year and today Garrett is six years old.

Thank God for my son.