When we are chosen or chose to become a mother, it changes life is ways that are never known until we are experiencing them. It is like riding a roller coaster for the first time. We know it will be scary, exhilarating, intense, perhaps painful, rough, bumpy, up and down. We know it in our brain but the actual experience is something quite different. Being a Mom, it changes who we are to our core. Never again do we exist only for ourselves, there is always and will always be someone who depends on us. We are a we and not a me. We are teachers, guidance counselors, healers, comforters, disciplinarians, protectors, and promoters.
We must choose to be the Dreamweaver and not the Dreamsquasher.
We must choose to put ourselves first but at a very small margin, which often turns to second or third. We must learn to hold on and let go. We must have love that rejuvenates everyday and grows in ample supply to store for a rainy day.
A true balancing act that requires grace, patience, energy and true love.
Being a Mom and all that it implies...
And in this time, being a Mom does not exclusively mean being a woman.
The definition of a parent: One who begets, gives birth to, or nurtures and raises a child; a father or mother.
And as a Mom, I am in awe of other parents. How do they do what they do? How do they accomplish all the things they do in one day? How do they keep their schedules, their friends, their relationships, there lives, themselves? It is a miracle that continues to astound me.
Before being a Mom, I was me. A career woman, traveling five days a week to climb the corporate ladder, to earn more money, to have more things, to be bigger, better, and prove to myself and others that I was just as driven, focused, ambitious, just as any other who was on my path.
After becoming a Mom, I was a we. Still a career woman, not traveling, climbing slower, earning less, taking less to give more, and yet, being bigger, better, proving to myself and others that I was just as driven, focused, and ambitious, as before, just on a different path.
The balancing act of being and seeing what is and all that it implies; being a parent.
Part Two of this post, 3/17/2009.
When I wrote this post last Friday, I was set on the idea of it being about Moms, but knowing that there are a lot of fantastic Dads out there doing it all too. Even in the best of relationships and marriages, there are often certain things one or the other parent is good at and they take on the majority of that responsibility. And as I wrote, it turned into another thought process, the idea of being a single Mom or Dad and how even the slightest change in our lives creates an even bigger change in the lives of our child. A small ripple, spreading and growing, energy that changes everything for them. The choices we make, the focus we have, the intensity in which we have decided to dedicate to keeping those ripples small, for their sake.
I am the first to admit, I am no perfect parent or person. My life has had many changes that have created ripples so huge that there is no way to know if they are rolling into a Tsunami that will come crashing at some later date. I hope not. I pray everyday for the strength and knowledge to get it now, so it makes life more fun for my son later.
I want to be his Dreamweaver! I want to be an inspiration to him. I want him to be a great man; loving, kind, generous and always exploring; and all that this implies.