Thursday, January 7, 2010

Heaven on Earth

Look at this little boy. Tiny, wearing his NASA uniform, jumping across a HUGE opening in the earth. This was only a little over 2 years ago. Now, my little boy, is ever taller, wears no NASA uniforms anymore, is much more daring in jumpling off or over truly large spaces, is a reader, a speller, understands so much of what is going on in this world and continues to astound me daily. He is my Heaven on Earth!
When confounded by adults who still cannot make the leap or take the chance or ask the questions, I look at my now 7 year old child and know that the world is a better place for having him on it.
He is astouding, beautiful, resilient, peace-loving, and knows that he is here to do something great in the world. He knows that he is a leader, but lets others lead. He knows he has a lot of knowledge, but lets others have their own and soaks it in. He is a peace-maker, where there is no peace. He does not judge, he loves and sees and is just fantastic in my eyes and my heart. I adore him !!
Take a minute to look at your children, really look at them, love them when they are tough, laugh hard when they are silly, go easy when things aren't that important, play. Hug them, smell their hair and know that is such a very short time, they will be taller than you. They will want to spend more time with their friends, they will be a teenager and then off they fly.
They are not our possessions. They were entrusted to us to guide, love, and allow to grow. Fill them with as much love as you can give, expose them to great things and when they come back to see you, they will hug you, smell your hair, remember you as they do now.
Garrett recently asked me this:" Mom, do you consider yourself everything or a small grain of sand on an endless beach?" I replied, "I am a small grain of sand on the endless beach for sure." He then said "Yeah, me too, but all together we make a beautiful array of colors and textures."
And then off he went to school...I was speechless. I love him.

Saturday, January 2, 2010

The Universe

As life would have it, once you put something out in the universeby mouth or by writing, it comes true.
My previous post about loathing things and certain behaviors of people I know, has really come full blast at me today. Even from those I love; oddly proving that I am part if not most of the issue.
So, having said that, an attitude adjustment is in order.

New Year, New Decade, New, New, New

Here is the thing.
For whatever reason, this year was something of a blur. It passed so quickly that I can hardly remember many of the events that constituted this moment in time.
Having said that, I am still writing my weekly column in the Biltmore Beacon- Carrie from Sex in the City minus the sex minus smoking minus living in NYC+friends+strange and unusual questions and thoughts on everything. You get the picture. A colunmist in Asheville, NC...interesting and sometimes not.
So, here is this thing.
If a recipe is the base of a great cake or anything, you must have all the ingredients to create and enjoy the end result. As in life, you must have a base with which to start. At what point to you decide what the base is going to be?
Is it family, is it work, is it creative outlets? Friends, I believe are certainly part of the base of most life recipes and I have many; I am grateful.
Truth, not telling the truth, but living the truth. Living a life that expands as it goes. Jumping in feet first, no exit plan, laughing hard, helping others, being someone who does not comsume of the earth, but who enjoys it and shares it with others.
Love, I mean not just loving something, but giving everything for the love of everything. Breaking down the walls we have built up for protection and receiving.
Here is the thing.
As much as I profess to be these things, with my base ingredients, the recipe to make it work and the ability to bring the walls down, I am anything but that.
My tolerance for mean, inept, ungrateful, selfish people has created what I call "Jabathehut". Me, this "all american girl'. Me, the person who loves babies, and the elderly, and animals, is Jaded. Never in my life have I felt loathing for things, people and experiences. I have had my share of these moments, but I have now put myself in a position, by ignoring and ommiting what is happening around me.
I have busied myself with so much. Chasing after something that is, I know not.
As this new year, decade and chapter begin, I will speak my mind, exercise my right as a free person who can and will shed and entire layer or hundreds of layers. Me, the person I dreamt of being.
Here is the thing.
If not now, when? If not when, how? If not how, why?
Reflection is a way of learning and letting experiences help us created and become what we want. So it is now, how and why I am...