Friday, April 9, 2010

Buddha Belly Flotation Device

Could there be anything more adorable than to look at photos of your now 7 yr old son and remember him when he was this little, squishy, drooling, Buddha belly baby; I think not.
When G came to us through adoption in December of 2002, I was still mourning the loss of my baby. This little baby did not live to be born. He or She was due in late March, 2003, but could not come to me and I was so very, very sad. I lost the baby in July of 2002 and was devastated. It was me, the host, that failed the baby. I thought, I had hurt the baby because my body was not able to bring them full-term. I cried a lot. My family cried a lot. My Mom, especially because she knew how much effort it took to even become pregnant, only to lose the baby. I kept my first maternity shirt, still with tags, on the hanger until November, 2006. It was then that I had a complete hysterectomy and I truly surrendered the notion that I would be able to have a brother or sister for G. through a normal pregnancy.
Could I imagine not being G's Mom; not on your life! This precious little boy, brought to me by the grace of his mother, Kim. There are no words of joy that can fill this page adequately to explain my love of G and Kim and Steve and being a Mom. My sweetest baby G; so grown up now. All of 7 yrs old and time has flown is true. Time warp happens when you have someone else to take care of and your focus shifts to them.
My saddnes for my lost child has never ended. It does not fill my mind with thoughts of what could have been. It was this angel baby that went and picked Kim to carry G in her tummy. It was this angel baby who whispered in Kim's ear at nearly 8 months into her pregnancy and gave her the strength to place G with me to be his HeartMommy.
I adore my son! He was the cutest baby and is the most handsome boy!
As Mother's Day fast approaches, thank your HeartMommy for all her love. I will thank my Mom/HeartMommy. I will thank my little angel baby for the whisper in Kim's ear and heart. I will thank Kim for listening and bringing me such joy through G.