Saturday, January 2, 2010

New Year, New Decade, New, New, New

Here is the thing.
For whatever reason, this year was something of a blur. It passed so quickly that I can hardly remember many of the events that constituted this moment in time.
Having said that, I am still writing my weekly column in the Biltmore Beacon- Carrie from Sex in the City minus the sex minus smoking minus living in NYC+friends+strange and unusual questions and thoughts on everything. You get the picture. A colunmist in Asheville, NC...interesting and sometimes not.
So, here is this thing.
If a recipe is the base of a great cake or anything, you must have all the ingredients to create and enjoy the end result. As in life, you must have a base with which to start. At what point to you decide what the base is going to be?
Is it family, is it work, is it creative outlets? Friends, I believe are certainly part of the base of most life recipes and I have many; I am grateful.
Truth, not telling the truth, but living the truth. Living a life that expands as it goes. Jumping in feet first, no exit plan, laughing hard, helping others, being someone who does not comsume of the earth, but who enjoys it and shares it with others.
Love, I mean not just loving something, but giving everything for the love of everything. Breaking down the walls we have built up for protection and receiving.
Here is the thing.
As much as I profess to be these things, with my base ingredients, the recipe to make it work and the ability to bring the walls down, I am anything but that.
My tolerance for mean, inept, ungrateful, selfish people has created what I call "Jabathehut". Me, this "all american girl'. Me, the person who loves babies, and the elderly, and animals, is Jaded. Never in my life have I felt loathing for things, people and experiences. I have had my share of these moments, but I have now put myself in a position, by ignoring and ommiting what is happening around me.
I have busied myself with so much. Chasing after something that is, I know not.
As this new year, decade and chapter begin, I will speak my mind, exercise my right as a free person who can and will shed and entire layer or hundreds of layers. Me, the person I dreamt of being.
Here is the thing.
If not now, when? If not when, how? If not how, why?
Reflection is a way of learning and letting experiences help us created and become what we want. So it is now, how and why I am...
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