Buddha Belly Flotation Device

Could there be anything more adorable than to look at photos of your now 7 yr old son and remember him when he was this little, squishy, drooling, Buddha belly baby; I think not.
When G came to us through adoption in December of 2002, I was still mourning the loss of my baby. This little baby did not live to be born. He or She was due in late March, 2003, but could not come to me and I was so very, very sad. I lost the baby in July of 2002 and was devastated. It was me, the host, that failed the baby. I thought, I had hurt the baby because my body was not able to bring them full-term. I cried a lot. My family cried a lot. My Mom, especially because she knew how much effort it took to even become pregnant, only to lose the baby. I kept my first maternity shirt, still with tags, on the hanger until November, 2006. It was then that I had a complete hysterectomy and I truly surrendered the notion that I would be able to have a brother or sister for G. through a normal pregnancy.

Could I imagine not being G's Mom; not on your life! This precious little boy, brought to me by the grace of his mother, Kim. There are no words of joy that can fill this page adequately to explain my love of G and Kim and Steve and being a Mom. My sweetest baby G; so grown up now. All of 7 yrs old and time has flown by...it is true. Time warp happens when you have someone else to take care of and your focus shifts to them.

My saddnes for my lost child has never ended. It does not fill my mind with thoughts of what could have been. It was this angel baby that went and picked Kim to carry G in her tummy. It was this angel baby who whispered in Kim's ear at nearly 8 months into her pregnancy and gave her the strength to place G with me to be his HeartMommy.

I adore my son! He was the cutest baby and is the most handsome boy!

As Mother's Day fast approaches, thank your HeartMommy for all her love. I will thank my Mom/HeartMommy. I will thank my little angel baby for the whisper in Kim's ear and heart. I will thank Kim for listening and bringing me such joy through G.

Heaven on Earth

Look at this little boy. Tiny, wearing his NASA uniform, jumping across a HUGE opening in the earth. This was only a little over 2 years ago. Now, my little boy, is ever taller, wears no NASA uniforms anymore, is much more daring in jumpling off or over truly large spaces, is a reader, a speller, understands so much of what is going on in this world and continues to astound me daily. He is my Heaven on Earth!
When confounded by adults who still cannot make the leap or take the chance or ask the questions, I look at my now 7 year old child and know that the world is a better place for having him on it.
He is astouding, beautiful, resilient, peace-loving, and knows that he is here to do something great in the world. He knows that he is a leader, but lets others lead. He knows he has a lot of knowledge, but lets others have their own and soaks it in. He is a peace-maker, where there is no peace. He does not judge, he loves and sees and is just fantastic in my eyes and my heart. I adore him !!
Take a minute to look at your children, really look at them, love them when they are tough, laugh hard when they are silly, go easy when things aren't that important, play. Hug them, smell their hair and know that is such a very short time, they will be taller than you. They will want to spend more time with their friends, they will be a teenager and then off they fly.
They are not our possessions. They were entrusted to us to guide, love, and allow to grow. Fill them with as much love as you can give, expose them to great things and when they come back to see you, they will hug you, smell your hair, remember you as they do now.
Garrett recently asked me this:" Mom, do you consider yourself everything or a small grain of sand on an endless beach?" I replied, "I am a small grain of sand on the endless beach for sure." He then said "Yeah, me too, but all together we make a beautiful array of colors and textures."
And then off he went to school...I was speechless. I love him.