Friday, December 26, 2008

Garrett's Birthday

Here we are on December 26th, the day after Christmas. All the presents unwrapped, all the toys played with and strewn about, and all the leftovers.

But for me today is the day I became a mother. December 26th is the day that Garrett arrived on this earth. Late last night he could not sleep knowing that his birthday was coming; just as excited as for Christmas morning. We talked about when I met him while still in Kim's womb and how I got to see his picture from the sonogram, but only his head. We discussed how he became Garrett because of a dream that I had about two days before he was born. The names picked out for the baby were Emily Grace if the baby was a girl and Ethan William is the baby was a boy. But, I had this dream that said his name was Garrett, and he is Garrett through and through. During our conversation, he asked me if I knew what his name meant. I played along and asked him to tell me. "Brave Warrior" he said proudly. It is true.

In the early morning hours of December 26th, I received a call from Kim's mother Wendy. She said come now, the baby is coming. FLYING out of the bed and into the car, racing to the hospital and seeing Kim was surreal. The nurse came in and explained what was happening and that only two people could be in the labor/delivery room. Kim asked me if I would be her birth coach! I nearly fell over with joy, holding back my tears to not break the seal on the welling up. After two hours of intense pushing, I could see the very top of Garrett's head. But, Kim's labor would not progress and Garrett was stuck. The doctor decided it was time for a cesarean and they whisked her away. I was not allowed in the operating room. Then the tears flowed, I cried and cried. Not out of sadness, not out of fear, but just joy and love knowing that she was going through all of this for Garrett. She was so very brave. In the waiting room were Steve, Josh, my Mom, my sister Melissa and me. We talked and waited, sat silently and waited. It was like a 1950s waiting experience. After what seemed like eternity, we walked into the hall and I started pacing. About that time a nurse wheeled a bassinet down the hall as she softly cried. "Oh. no" I said, "Something happened to that baby, the nurse is crying." She kept coming toward us. Then cheerfully she said through her tears, "Do you want to see your baby?" All the blood rushed out of my brain and I stared.

The baby was swaddled in a white blanket and gender neutral hat. "Is it a boy or a girl, I asked?" and the nurse unwrapped the baby and exclaimed, 'It's A Boy!" I could not take my eyes off of his, he opened them wide and looked right at me. My heart exploded! We had only a few seconds of silence with him when the rush of family came to see him. The nurses and the doctor were all crying along with us. Garrett was radiant!

I went into a trance of some sort, just staying plastered to the window as they cleaned, weighed, measured and took his footprints. He just lay there calmly, sucking two fingers.

About an hour later I got to hold for the first time. In a private room. Awestruck, I stared at him. Touched his tiny fingers, smelled his hair. I was a mother and he was my son, Garrett, The brave warrior.

Life had begun as I know it.

Today is Garrett's birthday. The most important day of the year and today Garrett is six years old.

Thank God for my son.
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